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I had to put a stop to this. It didn’t take much deliberation for me to be sure I would never feel for Shelly what I felt for Moira. I worried for much longer about how Moira would feel about my conclusions. I knew Moira would be coming over the next evening, and I resolved to discuss this with her then. *** I could tell something was on her mind the moment she walked in the door. She had trouble meeting my eyes, and she clung tightly to me when I greeted her with a hug. ‘Seems like you have something on your mind, too,’ I remarked. Her eyes leaped to mine, and then closed, washed asunder by the pain on her face. I took her hand and steered her to our usual conversation place on the couch. ‘Do you want me to go first, or do you want to talk?’ Moira bit her lip and shook her head, eyes downward. ‘OK. I’ll talk, but I want you to look at me.’ My fingers captured her chin, and I gently pulled her face up to mine. She managed to conjure a brittle smile as our eyes met. ‘I’m just gonna. Other effects likeloss of libido happen really quickly and are totally reversible. Hormonereplacement therapy is slow and subtle."I sat very still for a while and looked at the fringe of my dress andcrossed my legs."Is getting it hard?" Not really," she said. "You want to find a clinic that offers somethingcalled 'informed consent.' All you need to do is sign a form and they'llstart giving you estrogen and spironolactone. You just have to ask." I'm scared," I said."It's okay to feel that way," she said. "It's a big decision and cultureis deeply disrespectul and dismissive of feminiity. That's probably whyyou keep doing this in secret with me and why you keep reading storieslike this one I caught you reading just now. You're scared. It's such ahuge risk. You don't have to do anything you feel uncomfortable doing. Youalso don't need to tell anyone if you start taking hormone replacementtherapy until you've saved enough money for plastic surgery if you feelthat scared. You can do things.
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